BREAKING NEWS: BMW driver discovers indicators

A BMW driver has discovered he can alert fellow road users and pedestrians about his intended manoeuvres by using something called indicators, it has emerged.

bmw driver
31 year old Call centre team leader Wayne Bell, whose barely affordable 328i is older than he wants you to know, made the shock discovery while out annoying other road users: “I saw a lesser car with these twinking side light things. They seemed to correlate with the turns the driver was making. I was on the phone with my Dad at the time – he told me how to use mine, so I just… did.”

The normally irresponsible dickhead lauded the “new-fangled” safety feature, adding: “turns out they’re actually quite sensible.”

Fellow road user, Becky Dinting said: “I was behind him, waiting for him to cut up the oncoming pensioner who was turning into the same road. You know, like they normally do? But then he just waited patiently, as if he was a decent human being.”

“I couldn’t believe it.”

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