Owen Smith to “un-resign” from being an unpopular dick

Unpopular Labour leadership hopeful, Owen Smith, has “un-resigned” from being a contemptuous bellend and is pressing on with the matter in hand, it has emerged.

Owen-Smith
The Machiavellian fuckwit, Smith, whose past glories range from supporting Jeremy Cobyn outright, to ignoring the majority of the party’s members completely within six months, has re-stated his intentions to dislodge Labour’s democratically elected leader.

Feigning interest in having a credible mandate from the voting public, Mr Smith shrugged: “I know it might look like the most sensible, rational thing to do is listen to the party and leave this futile race, which I alone started months ago. But I’ve reconsidered.”

“I believe we can have a different Labour party. One where we can all come together under what me and my friends decide is best for you lot, rather than these loathsome dickheads who bang on about their £25 quid.”

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