BREAKING NEWS: 23 Year-old to tell you something about life


A know-it-all graduate has used their 23 years of experience on this earth, of which 18 have been spent as a child, to explain something profound and/or useful to you about life, it has been revealed.
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Having travelled to several destinations popular with other gap year wankers while avoiding adult responsibilities, 23 year-old Becky Dinting concedes she’s at an advantage to other mere mortals because of her “vast life experiences.”

The jobless genius explained: “I’ve been through so much? You shouldn’t judge me unless you know me. My life experiences have made me the woman I am today.”

Solidifying her elite status among other entitled gobshites, the art history graduate came out with some other elaborate bullshit, adding: “As a woman, I don’t need to ask permission to have a voice in the world, even though society wants to dictate to us otherwise.”

Elaborating on the graduate’s impassioned monologues, boyfriend James, 27, revealed the couple enjoy heated debated. He commented:  “Yeah, I don’t know where this “asking permission” thing has come from, seeing as it patently isn’t true. She says I’m not meant to know obvious things because I “don’t even have a degree”, but I don’t see how an unemployed graduate can be “oppressed” if their parents just spunked twelve grand to fund their gap year and they still live rent-free.”

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“Still, it kind of nips things in the bud when you point out that all the major feminist victories have already happened. For example, the Suffragette movement not only won women’s right here in the UK, it kick-started the civil rights movement worldwide.”

“The sex is great, though.”

MumBecky’s Mum Elaine Dinting, 52, confirmed: “I’m glad she’s back now – the gap year nonsense has cost a bomb. She has changed a bit, though. I think she must have watched Russell Brand or something. He’s so funny.”

“Having said that, she did get a first in her degree, so she’s earned all her successes.”