A-level results day now “Creepy Old Photographer Day”


A-level results day has been renamed to acknowledge the creepy photographers who it’s really all about, it has been confirmed.

a-lecvel results UK

The change has come after everyone admitted that, basically, today is an opportunity for creepy old photographers to get photos of dolled-up young females looking their happiest.

Sinister Ray Dawson, 58, a freelance photographer confirmed: “Even though I only do this once a year, well, twice if you count GCSE results, this change is long overdue. Rather than hide in the shadows with unaccredited photos of lovely young girls, we can now be proud of the creepy old bastards we are.”

The rapey-vibed codger explained: “Gawping at nubile young females squeaking at each other as they open their results is one of life’s hidden pleasures, everyone knows that. Sometimes they wear crop tops and embrace each other. They don’t even know they’re doing it.”

A-level Results 12“If you’re lucky they’ll have a hot milfy teacher or mum who will join in.”

Explaining what life was like when it was all about the pupils, Mr Dawson commented: “Of course we do have to even things out by taking photos of the boys, but I just grab anyone I can. They get a small montage down the bottom of the page once we go to print. Can’t be seen to be too obvious.”

Turning back to the pupils in order to take more photos, a dedicated looking Mr Dawson could be heard instructing: “Okay, big smiles …just lovely. Again? OK, hold up your exam papers? No, away from your front. Away. Up in the air?”

“…marvellous.”

“Remember when I banned fox hunting?” Blair asks Britain


Tony Blair has casually reminded Great Britain about the time he banned fox hunting, it has emerged.

Blair

The curiously all of a-sudden-nudge came on the back of the Chilcot enquiry’s conclusion, which stated020 Blair took the country to a potentially illegal war with Iraq by possibly misleading the public.

The former Premier has moved the attention to more favourable achievements, declaring: “2003 was actually a great year for Britain, wasn’t it? We submitted the white paper of the Hunting Act to Parliament. We passed it the year after and put an end to Tory foxhunting – and we all win as a result.”

As yet, Blair has not acknowledged any of the findings of the report, but did add “Paternity pay. Now that was a good idea, wasn’t it?”