A-level results day renamed to “Creepy Old Photographer Day”


University clearing stage has been renamed to acknowledge what it’s really about, it has been confirmed.

a-lecvel results UK

The change has come after everyone admitted basically it’s an opportunity for photographers to get mainly photos of dolled-up young females looking their happiest.

Sinister freelance photographer, Ray Dawson, 58, confirmed: “This is long overdue. Rather than hide in the shadows with unaccredited photos of lovely young girls, we can now be proud of the creepy old bastards we are.”

The rapey-vibed codger explained: “Gawping at nubile young females squeaking at each other as they open their results is one of life’s hidden pleasures. Sometimes they wear crop tops embrace each other. They don’t even know they’re doing it.”

A-level Results 12“If you’re lucky they’ll have a hot milfy teacher or mum who will join in.”

Explaining what life was like when it was all about the pupils, Mr Dawson commented: “Of course we do have to even things out by taking photos of the boys, but I just grab anyone I can. They get a small montage down the bottom of the page. Can’t be seen to be too obvious.”

Turning back to the pupils in order o take more photos, a clearly dedicated Mr Dawson could be heard instructing: “Okay, big smiles …just lovely. Again? OK, hold up your exam papers? No, away from your front. Away. Up in the air?”

“…marvellous.”

“Remember when I banned fox hunting?” Blair asks Britain


Tony Blair has casually reminded Great Britain about the time he banned fox hunting, it has emerged.

Blair

The curiously all of a-sudden-nudge came on the back of the Chilcot enquiry’s conclusion, which stated020 Blair took the country to a potentially illegal war with Iraq by possibly misleading the public.

The former Premier has moved the attention to more favourable achievements, declaring: “2003 was actually a great year for Britain, wasn’t it? We submitted the white paper of the Hunting Act to Parliament. We passed it the year after and put an end to Tory foxhunting – and we all win as a result.”

As yet, Blair has not acknowledged any of the findings of the report, but did add “Paternity pay. Now that was a good idea, wasn’t it?”